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Manisha Bhatia
Manisha Bhatia is the author of book, When My Father Cried, a romantic fiction novel released on 4th September by Story Mirror at Oxford Bookstore :)
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Yes, I remember it was last in July, a month before Independence Day when the shameful crime of Guwhati molestation took place in India, I don’t need to repeat the story for there are endless stories rather cases exposing gruesome death of humanity rather bare shamelessness laughing at our helplessness. Helplessness? O! yes in some way when I or we women feel to be safe rather than enjoying our freedom (equal freedom fought equally by women too in British era), at least I often prefer to be at home. Yes I do...just because I want to be safe...I everyday kill my freedom in various forms with my own hands & I know when I will become a mother one day...I will be more insecure & will be killing my daughter’s freedom & if I have a son I will make sure he grows up and becomes an example.

I decided to be on sabbatical from writing on blogs...but I never knew I will again return with the same topic deadlier than before one day. I am sorry I couldn’t help because from last 13 days it has captured my mind no matter whether I eat, sleep, write, work, it just doesn’t leave my mind...it just doesn’t...& today when she died...I was speechless, tears were shed, because today humanity bled to death.

Not a rape, not an assault, not a crime, not a death,
today humanity was tarnished & dead
I don’t know religion & the cycle of karmas
All I know since days my core is perturbed

The pain of her squeals
when her soul cried
Save me! mother, I wish to be alive
With amazing potency every moment
The bravo challenged death& gave a fight
Even God couldn’t witness her anguish
summoned her to heavenly abode
so that in the halo of his arms

she can peacefully rest...hope she rests...wish she rests...
& so the million others who left...just pray...all you can today...

I sat to write because no more with emotions I could fight...the anguish wasn’t over girl’s death...akin to her we have plenty whose souls are scarred & perturbed. My soul is of a woman and everyday I feel somewhere she is raped in some or other form...it disturbs. But with lot of dignity & pride like millions others everyday I too fight...I will fight...akin to their cowardness, bravery is my birthright.

You rape a woman everyday
when her clothes are shorter than your vision
when you ask, will you sleep with me?
for your next promotion
If she says yes, she is a slut
If no, Oh! what the fuck, you have next
when your dirty desires, scans her attires
when your filthy mind plays dirty games & you say
relax O! just healthy flirting my way
when your cheap tongue, abuses her femininity

when you rotten finger, points at her chastity
when she choose to make love, her equal right
you think sleeping with her is now your birthright
when you expoit her emotions for your cheap fulfilments
if she gets emotional she is a fool & if she doesn’t
you question her integrity& gracefulness
just because you are a man & she is a woman?
No...because your mind is rotten & weak your essence
Yes! you rape a woman...
you rape her everyday
with your cheap thinking & ways...

If my words make any sense, shake your mind, & somewhere you too question about your existence, then I plead you to just do something for her, minimum you can do is RESPECT her for woman is the reason of your existence. When you abuse her you abuse yourself. If you keep disrespecting her & her emotions her curses will haunt you even in hell.




Dr. ManMohan Singh
Prime Minister of India

Dear Sir,
I am an ordinary citizen of our extraordinary country. Though I don’t regard myself as ordinary but the sick and sloppy policies of your country and the indifferent attitude of your government has made me felt so now and then. I am a “GIRL”. I get worshipped in different forms of deity one moment and the very next I get molested. So I continue living in a state of confusion. My country is very well known across the globe for its glorious history and beautiful culture. It is known as the abode of magnificent wisdom. I often take pride in that when I meet people from different cultures as a result of my profession and writing. I connect across bloggers from different parts of the world and I feel pride when I find they are highly influenced by the glorious hospitality and culture of INDIA.
But I feel ashamed to mention that in this country with glorious past, I see dark present and a darker future for females across India. Today after a lot of contemplation and fight within I agree with me that despite a loving and caring family and associates around, “I LIVE IN FEAR”. I have been living with this fear since long and with each passing day it is just increasing. It often at times overpowers and I cancel my trips for many occasions just for a simple reason that I feel unsafe and my father or my associates cannot accompany me at each and every trip.
I am an educated independent girl who is immensely proud of her upbringing and is extremely confident to do anything on earth in her capacity but I do restrict myself at times. I am bold but I know the law and system is so pathetic that for any extra bold step I and my family will have to pay for it the very next moment. I am quite sure about this not because I consider myself as feeble but because I have seen the cases on television many times in my city and across India.
Like me I am sure each and every girl of INDIA must have been molested somewhere or else by someone sometime and they all live in fear. Leave alone the parties, I do not plan any late evening trips for any bloggers meet or events for which I yearn to go just because I may reach while it is daylight but as the evening approaches I fear for my safety. Leave alone the public transport; I am not sure about my safety while I am using my own means of transport. I prefer to stay indoors. Due to this fear you curb my independence and restrict my capabilities to flourish as a person personally and professionally. I am talking about late evening but to tell you I feel the similar fear in the morning as well.
Look at the appalling joke at the recent molestation of a minor girl in Guwhati, she being molested by 20 bloody demons in the middle of road. We the citizens of India can be so fast in circulating the news across the world but your government and the well trained police officers can’t even find unprofessional demons. Can we expect them to find the professional ones any day? The biggest joke throughout this incident was that a journalist was involved making a video at the time of molestation, a journalist comes to her rescue, and then another journalist asks her on national television- “HOW ARE YOU FEELING”? Disgusting. Is it sir? Why don’t you get a female from your family get molested in the middle of road in full view of public and then you yes you go and ask her “HOW THE HELL IS SHE FEELING”? If you still do not get any answer then the human in you is already dead sir and no matter how many letters we write you we will continue to live in fear.
Let me tell you about me which is I am sure is the story of many girls in India and to tell you they go through this on a daily basis. I started jogging early morning but when I noticed few hooligans keeping an eye on me, I left going to that park for jogging for it takes seconds for a speeding car to come towards me and drag me inside in full view of public in the broad day light. There were live cases in my city and across India. I am happy at home. I go to jog I am in fear. I take an auto in the morning to catch my office cab I am in fear because this country is now so unsafe that you never know that what will happen with a girl next moment. I walk on road in the extreme corner and stay alert all the time and I make sure I return back my home before 8PM no not because I don’t like to go out with friends sometime and have party, I don’t wish to attend events starting at evening, no not because I have incomplete tasks and I cannot stay out more time to complete them etc etc. I return back just because “I FEAR”. I fear for my safety in an independent country.
I wake up and start with fear and look at the mockery at our democracy that when I sleep I am still in fear and at times I have end up sleepless nights. I am tired from a hectic day and wish to sleep but I can’t.  You know why? Yesterday only few hooligans on bike threw a stone on the window of our house at 3AM early morning uttering some utter nonsense. After completing some pending tasks I had already caught up sleep at 1 AM which was again ruined by this incident. Result? A sleepless night in fear thinking about all sorts of permutations and combinations who they could be? Why they did so? They could have broken the glass pane of my father’s car too costing us more. We are ordinary middle class citizens of your country with limited income and this unwanted cost really pains in the midst of already burning economy. My sister couldn’t sleep whole night and should I tell you how my parents were feeling? So sir, I even sleep in fear. I believe you too have females in family. Just leave them once without any protection and you will have the real taste of your country which you are heading sir.
I always keep the curtains of my room covered if I keep the wooden door open but make sure I keep the other door bolted. I do that even when there is no electricity (thank you for the appalling condition of electricity in my city and rather our country so let me be tight-lipped and not reveal the shameful secrets here). I do that because I don’t feel secure it is as simple as that. I keep the windows and doors forever covered because once when I had not covered them and was engrossed reading a book after sometime I noticed someone peeping inside. As he saw me alert, within split seconds he ran away on his bike.
I can’t wear trendy attires if I am taking a public transport, I fear in normal ones. The ogling eyes do not leave the burka-clad women; leave alone me. It provokes the already sick provoked bastards roaming freely day and night on road making mockery of the so called “DEMOCRACY” .So now I understand why my father is not much happy with me wearing sexy and trendy attires. No not because he doesn’t like or is having low mentality, it is just that even he lives in fear. Because in our county no matter it is a custom that a girl will be blamed for everything. Why was she out? Why was she wearing trendy outfits? And to tell you I wear normal attires completely covering myself and still they get provoked so who is to be blamed?
She continuously lives in the vicious cycle of WHY and FEAR and so does her whole family till she gets married off and after that her husband and her in-laws also join the “FEAR FAMILY”. Thanks a lot to you, your third class policies, no strict action against any assault against women every now and then, and your failure as a prime minister in every way.

Yes I have forgotten to talk politely with strangers and when I am travelling and specially while using public transport.  It doesn’t work you see. They understand tough language. So I a girl usually soft spoken and dignified am quite rough n tough while I am out for the sake of my own safety. You know why sir? You hire such bastards for the servicing of public. (Sorry to use abusive language. Are you feeling the rage while I am using this language? Well , if yes then you can understand the rage in me). I have started hating my country.
And I am laughing a laugh of dire agony while I mention that your party leader is a woman herself and till now we see no action and statement from her for any strict action. Brilliant! For you politicians- “Ye Sab To Chalta Rehta Hai” (This keeps on going...Big deal?). Right? We anyhow do not expect anything from her. We are bearing a lifetime mistake of Late Rajeev Gandhi. She is not an Indian native but has she forgotten she is a WOMAN?
Leave her look at our PRESIDENT a lady herself sleeping. God only knows what she does. I a young girl am ashamed of her, her esteemed designation, and her being a woman herself. Are you thinking that I am expecting too much from her? Aww!!! I shouldn’t? What do you think?
Dear Sir, you cannot provide us anything except low income, low paying jobs, ever pathetic economy with soaring prices burning hole in the pocket of middle class India and Indians. But leave all that can you provide me a simple life free from FEAR. Because I agree, “YES I LIVE IN FEAR” and I am sure so does the other women in India.
So are you waiting for more anguish from the nation or more letters? Then only it will prove worthy on your behalf to take actions or just in case if you speak up something. You are not a leader sir, you are joker and your government is a joke for our democracy. While playing your dreadful political games you are playing with our lives and our curses will haunt you for generations. Yes we are that humiliated and burnt inside.
My list to why I live in fear in an independent country is endless.
If you really have some dignity left in you then sir please, make some strict policies. You have plenty of time to lootify the middle class Indians further by escalating prices of some or the other commodity someday before that can you give us your anger because we are really very angry. We do not need your committees, commissions, investigations, and nonsense. WE NEED NO MERCY AGAINST ANY ACT OF MOLESTATION. TODAY AND NOW WE NEED ACTION.
I leave this letter open for you to answer that what the females of your nations should do? Where should they go at the time of need? Who will provide us the guarantee of justice?

Yours sincerely,
An ordinary middle class Indian girl!


Yes I live in fear
with every passing day
It’s approaching near      
I fear
While I am awake
In sleep
Sometimes I am awake
In the middle of night
I couldn’t sleep
Where to go ?
What to do ?
A girl with high dignity
Due to this fear
Often at times
Quite low I feel
I fear
When I am out
While I stay in
I walk
I talk
In crowd
What next moment
Will bring in?
Fearing someone spying
When I turn back
No one is in sight
Yes I live in fear
With every passing day
It’s approaching near
I am bold
I can stand up
I can give it a fight
Often I do
But what when
Twenty demons
Catch me in middle
Of the road
From east west
North n south
Right and left
I am not a superwoman
 I continue
To live in fear...
With every passing day
It’s approaching near!!!


Its true one can easily depict the plight of child labor from my sketch. It has often distrubed me and most of the times I found myself helpless as well. I remember in my childhood days when I used to return back from my school, I used to conduct classses for all the children in neighborhood and girls (teenagers) who used to work at my home at that point of time, aah I was quite young at that time and I still remember their name- "Sukhlauti and Meena".  I still remember  their faces.

My parents and grandparents always supported me in this innocent task of mine. Among all the children at our home only I was the one intersted in conducting such classes, so I guess this all is naturally inherited in the blood and cannot be taught. So what I used to teach them? Whatever I used to learn in my school. I knew they won't be able to afford anything so I used to provide them all the paraphernalia. My joy used to never have any bounds when I could see them writing their name correctly themselves. This went on, till I myself was now caught up with the pressure of studies, extracurricular activities etc etc.

I still help out whenever and wherever I can but I am not able to do much for many reasons.

a)      Those children have families and to take a strict action who have to first fight with the families. I am no social worker n definitely have no time on earth to do so as of now.

b)      The biggest reason I cannot do anything and somewhere I agree as well- If I stop someone from earning, Can I provide them another option? What is more important? Money to buy food and survive or money to buy books? Well I juggled with all permutations n combinations but still could not reach to any conclusion.

c)      How much and how will education help specially to poor girl child? In India, system is so pathetic that they are married off in an unripe age and it's after marriage their lifelong suffering actually starts. Unsafe sex, pregnancy at very young age, lack of medical facilities, poor health, and the list is endless. My heart n eyes have often witnessed this plight and all you can do is help them through money and food.

d)     The other important question, even if they struggled and now able to grasp basic education, Will it provide them employment? Well, I should better be tight-lipped about the pathetic employment stage of my country.

If I say that we all witness it everyday, Will you agree with me? When you are out on trip with family and you stop to the highway dhaba to grab on yummiest food which even the swankiest joints cannot provide. When you passby a construction site, at your home/office, tea stalls, railway stations, bus stands, while travelling through public transport, in the midst of traffic signals...its contagious...its everywhere...

My question is still persistent. Innocence at stake~ Who's MISTAKE?


@Copyright 2012- Manisha Bhatia


Life is like a guitar~
akin to diverse chords
emotions swathe  
my senses
ignite my instincts
fire on wings
slender fingers
take charge on strings
every chapter
akin to a song
soul sings
I feel every moment
life is on swing

Life is like a guitar~
Chords of accord
to pacify mayhem
Chords of strain
to allay pain
Chords of love
to drench in passion
Chords of amity
tribute to candid relations
Chords of life
as homage to divine
Chords of seasons
every day I live in

Life is like a guitar~
akin to every moment
each beat in sync
with every heartbeat
magnificently still distinct
unique compositions
legend in themselves
narrate the story
of their voyage
new inceptions
multiple turns
various ends

      Life is like a guitar~
events of life I cross
I sing while I move along
when everything seems fine
still nothing is fine
I smile but heart whines
my innocent attempts with strings
trying to break free
while still confined
deep mystery
intermingled with tunes
since ages undefined

Life is like a guitar~
emotions take lead
verses I weave
words become rhythm
one moment I dance
next I am still
makes me laugh
pearls roll in
suddenly I cry
every day we dance
on sundry tunes
till one day
We bid goodbye!!!


@Copyright 2012- Manisha Bhatia

play the tunes of life


I am and will always be grateful to my folks for imparting me a beautiful and complete childhood. Like every other child with the grace of God I too got the absolute and fair chance to live my childhood completely. I played, rambled around my beautiful small town, explored, learnt, thrown tantrums, went for education in best available schools and colleges, and experienced all those innocent and beautiful ups and downs which every other normal child of an upper middle class family gets an opportunity to do. Needless to mention, I will always be obliged throughout my life to my parents and my grandparents for imparting me the similar.
As a child I really never knew much about the “losses of life” which primary are personal and then these losses gradually take toll over the emotions. I was unaware of their impact. Like every other loving and caring parent, mine too kept me away from those losses so that they do not disturb my unripe mind and leave any emotional impact on my tender heart. Of course, despite having idea I couldn’t understand or feel much about these losses since I never shared any emotional attachment with them or rather the innocent child in me was immature to understand their importance and feel their depth. My age was too tender to understand and feel about those relations as I was secure and comfortable in the warm cocoon of my parent’s secure world.
 It is still the same with me. I am not much able to “understand” relations, I moreover feel them and hence my acquaintances which are close to my heart and really matter to me are effortless. They have themselves developed that forever bond with me. For me it can be with anyone and it really doesn’t require date, time, age, nationality, gender or any other logical reasoning (from this I really don’t mean that I don’t respect my nationality, religion, or any other thing or anyone related with me it is just that I respect others as well), which I often find people use to build relations. I always find that such relations do not possess that forever charm. With that togetherness they comprise that deep shallowness.
“Things appear hunky dory from outside but just a deep peek inside and shallowness appears”~
With growing years when I started to understand the relations and hence feel their presence and importance in my life, I too had this false notion that everyone will be with me forever like we have about ourselves somewhere that we will live forever, till life gave me the first blow and I lost someone very close to me. I have never imagined it in my wildest dreams ever that life can be so unfair to me and my family. Some things changed, many relations around me changed, yes their behavior towards me any family changed, and then they changed forever as though they always wanted to change and were just waiting for an opportunity to be their actual self. I didn’t speak much because suddenly on a fast rate I had too much to observe, learn, feel, and I gobbled up most of the learning and observations in my heart. I was slowly learning to sieve the relations which really mean to me from other relations. At that time, I only knew about my family and that I way far tried to be as strong as possible and I successfully did. When after some time things were little settled, I and my grandfather were having a walk one day and he told me –
“I never knew in this tender age you will show so much maturity and I only silently thought I too always never had an idea that your spectacular upbringing has nurtured such great values in me and made me such a strong person”.
I miss HIM at times…
But, it is true~
“Some losses create a deep void in your heart and life forever. No matter how strong you get, what you do and to which ever high point you reach in your life some losses just cannot be replaced”.
And I really do not want to replace them either because those precious losses were so unique and special. How can someone else ever replace them? It destroys the authenticity and purity of relations. With me or not it will be that close and will mean that much to me as always.
Now, I understood the real meaning and importance of relations and have started feeling them deeply much much more…
As I am always stern with me and my emotions so I moved ahead for my and everybody’s sake, with preaching from every end and every other person I came across which I really never required but I had to silently listen. I became silent and I started coming close to the relations and divine. May be, I was learning the actual meaning of life gradually.
“I always feel my silence has more sound and eyes reflect more emotions if someone care and have mellowness to read, understand, and listen.”
I often try hard to hide at first go and it is not that I do not speak and express, it is just that I take far longer time than any other normal person. I can show more by my little gestures.
Am I secretive about my emotions? Do I fear to accept them or is it my intrinsic nature? Well I believe partially all three somewhere.
I immersed myself in my studies and future planning and things slowly started to settle down. I really don’t know how much and for who’s sake. I successfully took my mind off from all these things, but slowly life had so many more offerings (losses) to offer. Within a span of few years I lost many relations very close to me, but somewhere I was now too involved with my own things, present, future and was somewhere I was too stern in my heart to not let things affect me. I never knew that I am accumulating them in my heart and if truth to be told the void was actually growing bigger and deeper.
It’s been few years now and…
I still question myself at times- “Had I been selfish”?
“Was I running away from the relations and was afraid of more losses somewhere”?
“Was my heart trying to explore happiness after so much chaos in life and I was not ready to succumb to the grief of more losses anymore”?
I haven’t found any fair answer yet or rather I feel I haven’t gained that wisdom yet to answer such questions about my life or some questions can never be answered.
Where I went wrong? Even did I or not? I don’t know… but it’s true I miss the presence of those special losses very much at times.
I never knew life has so much to offer me next. Till some different kind of losses appeared unannounced as a shock in my life. With their deceit, low assessment, and mean actions they left scars on my soul forever. I never succumbed because here I was sure it was not my mistake. I came out glowing, renewed, and better than ever but somewhere they left an impact on other relations associated with my life which became just intolerable for me to cope up. I gobbled up everything again and tried to move on as fast as possible. I did if not for mine then for other relations associated with me but I did and again I learnt so much.
Life was so unfair with me that these deceits were repeated again.
These emotional losses redefined me and hence apart from other relations of my life whose importance and depth I have now understood and felt, I was slowly developing a deep bond with me and now with every passing moment this bond is getting much deeper. With my education, exposure, and moreover from the experience of life I have come across variety of individuals and often amazed to see the variety created by God.
Can someone as graceful and pure as “DIVINE” create such “variety”? Well…only Divine knows.
My circle expanded more and it’s now expanding with every passing day. I came across some relations whom I have met and felt only through mutual writings and I have never even spoken to them or met them but still got a blessed opportunity to know the real person in them. This is a sheer beautiful experience and I love it this way only. A loss appeared here too…though we haven’t spoken much but then somewhere I often miss the beautiful acquaintance and presence with a feeling that I am moving on…
Since a long time now, I had been trying to be very strong with me while coping up the losses. These losses which I accumulated in my heart somewhere at times causes much throbbing deep within at times and I feel helpless. The depth of relations, their losses, and writing unearths the layers of deep emotions which as a result of losses since years I have accumulated in my heart.
I have now learnt that “LOSSES OF LIFE” are inevitable part of life and all we need to do is to accept them because fighting really doesn’t help rather leads to more different kind of losses.
O! These losses are actually somewhere discovering ME every passing moment. The only thing is that I am realizing it now

Whether or not with you losses remains forever in you...

@Copyright 2012- Manisha Bhatia